I try to stay current with my updates, honest and positive. Most of the time that is not too hard, especially with the support of friends and family. But the last four weeks have been just plain nasty and I have been waiting to be in a more positive mood before posting. I am grateful for an excellent prognosis and all the wonderful support I receive. I am grateful for an understanding employer and an awesome to work with supervisor. I am grateful to be halfway through the chemo.
I am grateful, but I struggle to be joyful. Weird stuff is going on with my body, I get sick at the drop of the hat, and really a year is a much longer time than it sounded like at the beginning of this journey. Don’t worry, I am sure my mood will pick up again. But right now, I sometimes just want to melt down and run to the nearest padded room, letting out a long and powerful scream. I’ll just have to make it a scream of victory instead of a scream of frustration! I am so glad that I only have about 3-4 months to go. It has been a long year and I think what is really wearing on me is there is just not a true day off now that I have started the chemo. The joy of the Lord is my strength, so please if you pray for me please pray for that joy to be restored; I miss it. 🙂
Well, that is my pout for the month! I am starting to plan and look forward to things that I want to do when my treatment is completed, and that is a good sign I think. I want to take some horseback riding lessons, look into coaching for Dave Ramsey Financial University, and get back down to my ideal weight. Should be an awesome year to come!